My relationship with god

Have you ever wonder, why the opposite of what you wish happened, And with time you discover that it is best for you. for me It is god’s plan for others it’s just luck , well My relationship with god is something spiritual more than being just a tipical religious practice, it’s more as place where i can be so honest with my self, the place where i can find someone to talk with without being shy or whatever. I do not follow what i feel that its no good for me or anyone else, i do what i feel it’s right. Even if the religion says so, that’s simply what my definition of my relationship with god. some people will doubt of god existence because of the war and the unfair life, but what i will say that’s we all born as a good people, but in somehow people should also think of other choices, example: In Islam it’s says that the god gives the humans the choices to do whatever they want, so we can’t directly say that if there is god then why kids get killed, when we say that we mean that we don’t blame the human acts but we blame the god. I understand it in this way, What about you ?

Don’t blame god blame me, god is perfect and am not!